Lately, the only thing that keeps me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.
--Dilbert
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
--H.L. Menken
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
--Jack London
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
--Calvin
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
--Calvin
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
--Calvin
The long dull monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the Devil.
--C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) "The Screwtape Letters," 1941
Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is your list of girls who were naughty.
--Unknown
Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
--Unknown
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all other philosophers are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
--H.L. Mencken
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