I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
--Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
--Groucho Marx
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
--Abraham Lincoln
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
--Abraham Lincoln
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
--Abraham Lincoln
Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
--Douglas Adams
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
--Douglas Adams
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
--Douglas Adams
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
--Douglas Adams
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