Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
--Douglas Adams
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
--Douglas Adams
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
--Douglas Adams
What worries you masters you.
--Haddon W. Robinson
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
--John F. Kennedy
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
--Rodney Dangerfield
Life is just a bowl of pits.
--Rodney Dangerfield
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
--Bill Cosby
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
--Johnny Carson
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
--George Carlin
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