Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...OOOH SHIIIT!
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
Well I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!
--The Thing from The Fantastic Four
Goddamn FBI don't respect nothin'.
--Sonny from The Godfather
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
--Proverb
Ooga Beega Deega Leega
--Lucky Charms commercial in the 80s
I went to school, you know. I was in grammar school. Once we were taking a test. I was copying this other kid's paper, and I guess the teacher heard my Xerox machine. And she said, "Emo, am I stupid or were you cheating?" I said, "Ah, yes and no."
--Emo Phillips
The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said "If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference."
--Emo Phillips
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