You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
Windows XP=$300, Office XP=$400, damage from Microsoft security flaws=$16,000+, switching to Linux= PRICELESS
--Another person who hates Microsoft heh!
To all Grandparents: Heed this warning: Do NOT lose your Grandkids in the Mall! A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Crown Royal whisky and women with big tits."
--JOKE
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse? not on top."
--JOKE
Everything is 'Made in Vachina' cuz China is a like a giant vagina givin birth to every item on the racks & shelves here in the USA.
Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors. Beware the moon, lads.
--An American Werewolf in London
That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
I wanna be an airborne ranger, I wanna be put in danger.
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
Could you describe the ruckus, sir?
--Johnson from The Breakfast Club
Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
--Bender from The Breakfast Club
[ P r e v i o u s ] 210 - 220 of 476 Quotes
[ N e x t ]
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
[21]
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47