"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
--Bill Watterson
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
--Mark Twain
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
--Henry Kissinger
"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'"
--Jake Johansen
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. "Women marry men with the hope they will change. "Invaribly they are both disappointed."
--Albert Einstein
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
--Phyllis Diller
My mother never breast fed me.She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
--Rodney Dangerfield
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
--William Clayton
Swimming in the mainstream, is such a lame lame dream.
--Henry Rollins of Black Flag
People are really fucking stupid. Don't ever forget that and you'll get through life just fine.
--Matthew Nichols
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