In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
--Martin Luther King Jr.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
--General George S. Patton
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
--Winston Churchill
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
--Zsa Zsa Gabor
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
--Steven Wright
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
--Steven Wright
I went for a walk last night and my girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."
--Steven Wright
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
--Mae West
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
--Bill Watterson
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